just got off the phone with kimi. actually had this window open to post up some gloom, but no more clouds left. shampoo story drove it all away, amongst other things. it's funny how the 1/1 (11) is always an overrated day in itself, but the days subsequent, especially when you fill in countless dates on countless forms (and prescriptions) and catch yourself before the 0, or slash it through with a 1 if you weren't quick enough on the uptake (there's a greek symbol like that. what's it called?)... anyway where was i... oh yeah, when in the days subsequent you find yourself thinking about the new year, nothing much really, dont feel any different, but you start remembering all the things nudged off the fast fading 2010, and then you realize with a start, that this year has a full year's worth of space. what should i do, this year?

workwise, a couple of projects. hopefully this year i'll get my action plan out of the way early on and not retrospectively like last year. then again it's not an option, with 44s every which way i turn.

life stuff... definitely have to do and dust ops cabut by this year. by this march, more like. that should be big enough to last the year.

vacations. since phuket is off the charts, then i can seriously consider nz again. but should i spend another couple months worth of salary on the same place? allocate a bit for the reluctant pharmacists. then back to kuching more often.

... did i just make a resolutions list? so fucking mainstream. anyway. time for some apple cider vinegar.

maju?

oh my goodness. they had this stupid melaka maju campaign where malacca was supposed to be maju by 20:10, 20/10/2010. but i don't see how malacca is very maju at all. ok, their traffic lights have countdown timers which kuching doesn't have, but they don't have a freaking airport!! what kind of stupid campaign is this??? can they please don't waste money on stupid campaigns like this where they do nothing and declare the place maju??

the other day i went to get my pharm certs translated at the courthouse, and was told it would be rm50 per copy. foochow in me wasnt too happy, but i thought well ok at least i can get them translated without having to go all the way to kl. asked about certifications as well (needs to be either a notary public or justice of the peace, and apparently swak doesnt have notary publics) and was told it would be rm1 per copy only i couldnt do it at the time cos the magistrate was still in court (or possibly, having kuih and tea).

then last fri i went back to get the translations and coughed up the rm100, and asked for a receipt. i know i'm turning into an old fart, but guess what! the lady started hemming and hawing and saying that this is not official procedure so she cant issue an official receipt, etc, etc. ha. so i wasnt in the mood to make a scene - not that i usually am, anyway, but friday was a bad day (please dont take a picture!) - so i let it go. then i asked about certifications. she said the magistrate was going to have a meeting at 2.30 (it was 2.45) and was it urgent? i didnt feel like being a bitch but foresight came in quite handy so i said yes. and surprise, surprise, my 7 X 2 documents to be certified were free and came back quite instantaneously. that's rm14 less for their piggy bank.

so that's almost everything done... now i have to write out my reference. dammit, i have to get used to this anyway, selling myself, tooting my own horn.

Surreal

is going back and reading all our older posts. And wishful thinking

is wanting hornbill to post more posts because she is so damn funny la. And evil heh heh

is wishing petani would pop his blogging cherry cos we're all waiting to swoop on him.

Rant, teenage

The fact is, the happier the leave the fuckier the week back to work will be. So we should all work towards really horrible vacations.

No la. The problem is everyone else but myself. I LOVE hanging out with PRPs, they're such an uncomplicated bunch of laughter. With everyone else one has gotta be careful. Or angry. They're so full of poison that thinking of them makes me feel green with poison as well. The instinct is to stoop to their squeaky height and play them at their inane game. But then I'll lose my perch of self-righteousness. So. I'm gonna scowl at all idiots from now on. What for fiddle with good mornings. And then lead my own life. While dodging being stepped on, of course. Actually nah they can't step on me they're like 3 cm tall.

So today at work I got worked up, looked forward to 5 and then realised at 8 that i was still worked up, called a PRP to yell, and ended up laughing in trashtalk. So good. And she was having dinner with another PRP and I could do the same thing over again.

And tomorrow I'm going for a drive with yet another PRP. All these girls have their own baggage and beef, but there's no comfort like commiseration. Why am I commiserating with PRPs, you may ask? Because I refuse to trashtalk to superiors and higher-ups and prefer to do it with people who commiserate. Because I dont SUCK UP.

There's this (translated) Chinese quote we used to yell back in sec school: Justice will prevail. Just kidding!

If there ever another earthquake and from that earthquake, comes a tsunami, I hope it hits malaysia and flood the whole damn thing.

Fucking annoying people.

I don't read the newspaper these days like The Star or New Straits Times because they are not fit to wipe even my dog's ass. Serious. I wonder how the journalists sleep at night. Well better enjoy your time on earth, because there's a place for you in the afterlife and its called hell.

"INDEPENDENCE" SUCKS BALLS

Job Requirement

If being suicidal is merely a consequence of one having insufficient coping resources in face of negativity, then I guess work depression can be viewed as an analogue to suicide.

The path to suicide is often one with narrowing view where the victim loses visibility of light ahead. Everything seems to be crumbling down, building impenetrable walls which dampens the victim's will to escape from the deadly quicksand.

As for work depression, it is often linked to incompetent colleagues, unreasonable superior, unscrupulous employer and demotivating environment; all of which cripples us to the extent of becoming a stupid useless idiot. What could be worst? A contract or a bond that states that even if the shit has hit the fan, repeatedly, you still have to work for them.

Just like me.

But this game of life is about who can play the game better, who can survive longer. People who can create coping resources for themselves to nullify the hardships are those who are going to be celebrated in life. They are the hopeful ones. They wait for their turn and grab hold of golden opportunities. They never give up.

Do you want to be the last man standing?

Yes I do.

So I won't give a crap about stupidity, incompetence, foolishness and hypocrisy. It's all part of the job specification. I'd say, do what the Romans do, but always be prepared to fight in any World War. Don't be a part of the hopelessness. Be the best stealth assassin. Level up and hide, and resurface only when necessary. Don't exhaust yourself but grab the gold and runaway.

For all we know, it is only a matter of 2 more years before we can glue the letter with our saliva and slam it on the table and say 'I quit!'. Even if I still don't know what I'd want to do by then. :)