the other day i went to get my pharm certs translated at the courthouse, and was told it would be rm50 per copy. foochow in me wasnt too happy, but i thought well ok at least i can get them translated without having to go all the way to kl. asked about certifications as well (needs to be either a notary public or justice of the peace, and apparently swak doesnt have notary publics) and was told it would be rm1 per copy only i couldnt do it at the time cos the magistrate was still in court (or possibly, having kuih and tea).

then last fri i went back to get the translations and coughed up the rm100, and asked for a receipt. i know i'm turning into an old fart, but guess what! the lady started hemming and hawing and saying that this is not official procedure so she cant issue an official receipt, etc, etc. ha. so i wasnt in the mood to make a scene - not that i usually am, anyway, but friday was a bad day (please dont take a picture!) - so i let it go. then i asked about certifications. she said the magistrate was going to have a meeting at 2.30 (it was 2.45) and was it urgent? i didnt feel like being a bitch but foresight came in quite handy so i said yes. and surprise, surprise, my 7 X 2 documents to be certified were free and came back quite instantaneously. that's rm14 less for their piggy bank.

so that's almost everything done... now i have to write out my reference. dammit, i have to get used to this anyway, selling myself, tooting my own horn.

Surreal

is going back and reading all our older posts. And wishful thinking

is wanting hornbill to post more posts because she is so damn funny la. And evil heh heh

is wishing petani would pop his blogging cherry cos we're all waiting to swoop on him.

Rant, teenage

The fact is, the happier the leave the fuckier the week back to work will be. So we should all work towards really horrible vacations.

No la. The problem is everyone else but myself. I LOVE hanging out with PRPs, they're such an uncomplicated bunch of laughter. With everyone else one has gotta be careful. Or angry. They're so full of poison that thinking of them makes me feel green with poison as well. The instinct is to stoop to their squeaky height and play them at their inane game. But then I'll lose my perch of self-righteousness. So. I'm gonna scowl at all idiots from now on. What for fiddle with good mornings. And then lead my own life. While dodging being stepped on, of course. Actually nah they can't step on me they're like 3 cm tall.

So today at work I got worked up, looked forward to 5 and then realised at 8 that i was still worked up, called a PRP to yell, and ended up laughing in trashtalk. So good. And she was having dinner with another PRP and I could do the same thing over again.

And tomorrow I'm going for a drive with yet another PRP. All these girls have their own baggage and beef, but there's no comfort like commiseration. Why am I commiserating with PRPs, you may ask? Because I refuse to trashtalk to superiors and higher-ups and prefer to do it with people who commiserate. Because I dont SUCK UP.

There's this (translated) Chinese quote we used to yell back in sec school: Justice will prevail. Just kidding!

If there ever another earthquake and from that earthquake, comes a tsunami, I hope it hits malaysia and flood the whole damn thing.

Fucking annoying people.

I don't read the newspaper these days like The Star or New Straits Times because they are not fit to wipe even my dog's ass. Serious. I wonder how the journalists sleep at night. Well better enjoy your time on earth, because there's a place for you in the afterlife and its called hell.

"INDEPENDENCE" SUCKS BALLS

Job Requirement

If being suicidal is merely a consequence of one having insufficient coping resources in face of negativity, then I guess work depression can be viewed as an analogue to suicide.

The path to suicide is often one with narrowing view where the victim loses visibility of light ahead. Everything seems to be crumbling down, building impenetrable walls which dampens the victim's will to escape from the deadly quicksand.

As for work depression, it is often linked to incompetent colleagues, unreasonable superior, unscrupulous employer and demotivating environment; all of which cripples us to the extent of becoming a stupid useless idiot. What could be worst? A contract or a bond that states that even if the shit has hit the fan, repeatedly, you still have to work for them.

Just like me.

But this game of life is about who can play the game better, who can survive longer. People who can create coping resources for themselves to nullify the hardships are those who are going to be celebrated in life. They are the hopeful ones. They wait for their turn and grab hold of golden opportunities. They never give up.

Do you want to be the last man standing?

Yes I do.

So I won't give a crap about stupidity, incompetence, foolishness and hypocrisy. It's all part of the job specification. I'd say, do what the Romans do, but always be prepared to fight in any World War. Don't be a part of the hopelessness. Be the best stealth assassin. Level up and hide, and resurface only when necessary. Don't exhaust yourself but grab the gold and runaway.

For all we know, it is only a matter of 2 more years before we can glue the letter with our saliva and slam it on the table and say 'I quit!'. Even if I still don't know what I'd want to do by then. :)

ABC circa 07/08

They're breaking both my hands
They're breaking both my hands
And telling me to
Take it like a man
And take it like a man
Well fuck that
I don't understand
Said I don't understand
So please repeat whatever you just said
'cause nothing's making sense
Well how'm I doing?

I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
While everything is adding
Up, up, up
Everything is adding
Up, up, up


Well besides the significant cynicism of lyrics, this makes me wanna go CLUBBING.

ok. 20 days on and deadline this week and noooooooo i still havent finished my skt. i'm going to pretend no one's gonna ask me for fail meja. despite audit. i'm going to pretend raya nudged audit into the corner and through the wall and then beyond. yeah!

but that still leaves me with skt. yeah should stop moaning and start doing. hmmm. did that last night, didnt get far, had to rely on benadryl for sleep. skit is not a way to start your monday and the rest of the week, by the way. then again, i woke up to having to keep a watchful eye on dis and psy and msw and fsw and my own mmw and then as i was hyperventilating wondering where to go now what else should come along but the news that there's a dmtac patient here for appointment and oh btw dmtac pharmacist took el without telling anyone and the only way i found out was asking the ppf in charge of leave and that yeah she took last fri off which i signed for, but as far as he knew she didnt take monday off, but she did mention to him that she may take mc on monday see how. tell me how does a person predict 5 days in advance when she'll take mc, and barring some especial illness, what sort of person doesnt give heads up to the indirectly responsible next in line only because i signed her leave last friday but definitely not today fuck. and then the dmtac patient had to go hypo on me. i hope i didnt overhyperglycaemize him but anyway. one tablespoon of sugar in hot water aint seven tablespoons of sugar in a can of coke and some people take two cans for hypo. yes uncle i saw that dreamy happy look you had when you described yr near death experience and hypo is hardly a reason for you to catch up on coke.

luckily dis/psy girl came back at 11am. luckily i decided to screw fsw and u44 helped me with msw. luckily only 2 patients for dmtac today. luckily today i didnt have the energy to care too much about my ward and fuck it la, 1 cubicle and 2 counseling should pretty much do it for the day. you know the problem? too many to mention but let it be known that one should never tk 3 people at one go. especially since one is direct stand in for leave-trigger-happy dmtac pharmacist. especially if one is already juggling two portfolios and hang it, everyone's juggling two portfolios. hey not bad! today i juggled 8 portfolios. actually in the end i effectively only did... two and a half. so much for the self esteem.

i dont know where to start, really. i could rant and rave against the proverbial system for letting things come to this... but really. i could have taken today as a chance to prioritize and demonstrate some effective time management. and capability. instead of bawling my eyes out to management. but can anyone divvy themselves into 8? alright. i should never have signed 3 people's leaves. actually 2! and now we go back to the fucked up system.

aaaaaaaaaaand there's still skt. actually it's 10pm. time to sleep. tomorrow... is a clinic day. should i run to mmw for am rounds or should i take the time instead to brief deployed frp to cover dmtac for the week? fuck this isnt even my job. one good thing about fail meja: IT CLEARLY DELINEATES MY JOB FROM THE OTHER POINTLESS SHIT which eventually i'll have to do anyway cos fail meja means peanuts. fuck. and then and then i'm not done yet. then i have warfarin clinic which i run by myself am then pm i have a brand new prp following me so at least that makes the two of us. whatever. ok /rant this is just a waste of time.

at least i dont need benadryl tonight.