checklist

dont need to go on being angry. you dont have to answer to anyone, now.

30 mins more and then get on with work. you've lots and lots, and lots, of work to get done. remember june 15. and june 17. remember june 7. remember september, unless you want march. remember this friday (damn!).

start making your plans. your time and tide waits for no man, anymore, and you're your own person again. make the most of it this time around. by yourself, now, you've to do this by yourself.

dont kill yourself with work though. let it energize, not deplete. and exercise 20 minutes twice a week.

concentrate! it's the year of the fox and the bell has begun to toll.

It gets better

I was chatting with one of my trainee and she sighed. She told me how life sucks as a student. She lamented about the things she has to go through, explaining her tough times with painful details.

She thinks the future will be filled with better prospects when she starts working. She told me about the things she's gonna do, and the things she's gonna leave behind finally. She looked at me with hope and asked me what I thought of it - if things really get better when I started working.

Seeing her in a sorry state, I tried to assure her. I said yeah, life sucks when I was a student too. And not to worry, because you're right; it will change for the better when you finally join the working force. Because now, life fucks.

I left her in shock. Either from the rude awakening or from the obscenity or both - I dont know.

I should stop being an ass to my trainees.

*DISCLAIMER: In case you get offended, the story above is purely fictional. And oh, no animal was hurt.*

antifungal resistance

apparently there's only this one dude who is some expert on everything fungal and antifungal, and he's spanish, and he publishes his complete papers free online, and oh bloody hell they're in spanish. sigh. research makes me insecure dammit. i wish they'd just give me a topic and i work on it. this oyster thing just makes my malaysian education system byproduct of a mind tremble and quake.

pissy rant ahead

You know what pisses me off when I talk to my mom about work?

She'll say at least I have a job. Some people don't have jobs now.

IF I HAD STUDIED ANY OTHER THING, I WOULD STILL HAVE A JOB.

And it makes me wonder if I had stuck to my original plan, would I have been happier. At least, I would be doing something I like. Instead of wasting 4 fucking years in a stupid degree and then wasting another 4 fucking years in the fucking government. It makes me feel useless and stupid. And you can't leave because they made it compulsory. Leave the service you don't get your license and best part is they didn't even fund your studies.

And it pisses me off that when i tell people what i do, people will just say sit down shake leg huh? In 2008,I wouldn't have given a damn about those comments because i knew the truth. I was working like mad in the hospital. But now, it pisses me off because it's true. But I didn't choose for that to happen. I swear, I didn't even have clinics on my mind when postings came. I was so focused on getting the spot in the big places and when I saw the place on the letter, my heart sank.

Sigh. There. I'm done ranting.

sigh :(

On a most random note, Jesse Eisenberg is so fucking hot. Wooot!

Kettle!

You called me lame because I dont keep a kite and a frisbee in my car and bring them around all the time.

=.="

And no, I've never asked a total stranger in a park (or a beach for that matter) to play frisbee with me before.

No, I've never had a very close friend whom I cherish who happened to be a schizophrenic (Ummm, no, I wouldn't exactly call Barefoot schizophrenic)

No, I still cant take my underwear off while fully clothed. I know that you take particular pride in the fact that you could take your bra off while fully clothed. (Your exact gibe was: Quote - "Hahaaa!! I'm smarter than u then! I figured out my tricks years ago.." - Unquote). Well, I'm still working on my "tricks". Maybe if I succeed, we could be a circus.

No, I've never helped my friends to do their write-ups (I, would laugh at their misery instead) and end up with only a few hours of sleep for myself.

No, I've never approached an unknown kampung kid squatting by a big longkang looking at the fishes down there. And actually asked them to bring their fishing rod tomorrow. And actually meet up with them tomorrow to fish by the big longkang.

I find it amusing that you called me weird. Sweetheart, I'm this close (Scowling, showing index finger and thumb 0.5cm apart) to calling you a kettle.

And I'm perilously close (scowling, showing index finger and thumb 0.5cm apart) to make this into my personal blog because I'm too lazy to start one.