maju?

oh my goodness. they had this stupid melaka maju campaign where malacca was supposed to be maju by 20:10, 20/10/2010. but i don't see how malacca is very maju at all. ok, their traffic lights have countdown timers which kuching doesn't have, but they don't have a freaking airport!! what kind of stupid campaign is this??? can they please don't waste money on stupid campaigns like this where they do nothing and declare the place maju??

the other day i went to get my pharm certs translated at the courthouse, and was told it would be rm50 per copy. foochow in me wasnt too happy, but i thought well ok at least i can get them translated without having to go all the way to kl. asked about certifications as well (needs to be either a notary public or justice of the peace, and apparently swak doesnt have notary publics) and was told it would be rm1 per copy only i couldnt do it at the time cos the magistrate was still in court (or possibly, having kuih and tea).

then last fri i went back to get the translations and coughed up the rm100, and asked for a receipt. i know i'm turning into an old fart, but guess what! the lady started hemming and hawing and saying that this is not official procedure so she cant issue an official receipt, etc, etc. ha. so i wasnt in the mood to make a scene - not that i usually am, anyway, but friday was a bad day (please dont take a picture!) - so i let it go. then i asked about certifications. she said the magistrate was going to have a meeting at 2.30 (it was 2.45) and was it urgent? i didnt feel like being a bitch but foresight came in quite handy so i said yes. and surprise, surprise, my 7 X 2 documents to be certified were free and came back quite instantaneously. that's rm14 less for their piggy bank.

so that's almost everything done... now i have to write out my reference. dammit, i have to get used to this anyway, selling myself, tooting my own horn.

Surreal

is going back and reading all our older posts. And wishful thinking

is wanting hornbill to post more posts because she is so damn funny la. And evil heh heh

is wishing petani would pop his blogging cherry cos we're all waiting to swoop on him.

Rant, teenage

The fact is, the happier the leave the fuckier the week back to work will be. So we should all work towards really horrible vacations.

No la. The problem is everyone else but myself. I LOVE hanging out with PRPs, they're such an uncomplicated bunch of laughter. With everyone else one has gotta be careful. Or angry. They're so full of poison that thinking of them makes me feel green with poison as well. The instinct is to stoop to their squeaky height and play them at their inane game. But then I'll lose my perch of self-righteousness. So. I'm gonna scowl at all idiots from now on. What for fiddle with good mornings. And then lead my own life. While dodging being stepped on, of course. Actually nah they can't step on me they're like 3 cm tall.

So today at work I got worked up, looked forward to 5 and then realised at 8 that i was still worked up, called a PRP to yell, and ended up laughing in trashtalk. So good. And she was having dinner with another PRP and I could do the same thing over again.

And tomorrow I'm going for a drive with yet another PRP. All these girls have their own baggage and beef, but there's no comfort like commiseration. Why am I commiserating with PRPs, you may ask? Because I refuse to trashtalk to superiors and higher-ups and prefer to do it with people who commiserate. Because I dont SUCK UP.

There's this (translated) Chinese quote we used to yell back in sec school: Justice will prevail. Just kidding!

If there ever another earthquake and from that earthquake, comes a tsunami, I hope it hits malaysia and flood the whole damn thing.

Fucking annoying people.

I don't read the newspaper these days like The Star or New Straits Times because they are not fit to wipe even my dog's ass. Serious. I wonder how the journalists sleep at night. Well better enjoy your time on earth, because there's a place for you in the afterlife and its called hell.

"INDEPENDENCE" SUCKS BALLS

Job Requirement

If being suicidal is merely a consequence of one having insufficient coping resources in face of negativity, then I guess work depression can be viewed as an analogue to suicide.

The path to suicide is often one with narrowing view where the victim loses visibility of light ahead. Everything seems to be crumbling down, building impenetrable walls which dampens the victim's will to escape from the deadly quicksand.

As for work depression, it is often linked to incompetent colleagues, unreasonable superior, unscrupulous employer and demotivating environment; all of which cripples us to the extent of becoming a stupid useless idiot. What could be worst? A contract or a bond that states that even if the shit has hit the fan, repeatedly, you still have to work for them.

Just like me.

But this game of life is about who can play the game better, who can survive longer. People who can create coping resources for themselves to nullify the hardships are those who are going to be celebrated in life. They are the hopeful ones. They wait for their turn and grab hold of golden opportunities. They never give up.

Do you want to be the last man standing?

Yes I do.

So I won't give a crap about stupidity, incompetence, foolishness and hypocrisy. It's all part of the job specification. I'd say, do what the Romans do, but always be prepared to fight in any World War. Don't be a part of the hopelessness. Be the best stealth assassin. Level up and hide, and resurface only when necessary. Don't exhaust yourself but grab the gold and runaway.

For all we know, it is only a matter of 2 more years before we can glue the letter with our saliva and slam it on the table and say 'I quit!'. Even if I still don't know what I'd want to do by then. :)

ABC circa 07/08

They're breaking both my hands
They're breaking both my hands
And telling me to
Take it like a man
And take it like a man
Well fuck that
I don't understand
Said I don't understand
So please repeat whatever you just said
'cause nothing's making sense
Well how'm I doing?

I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
I gotta great idea
I'm gonna wait right here
While everything is adding
Up, up, up
Everything is adding
Up, up, up


Well besides the significant cynicism of lyrics, this makes me wanna go CLUBBING.

ok. 20 days on and deadline this week and noooooooo i still havent finished my skt. i'm going to pretend no one's gonna ask me for fail meja. despite audit. i'm going to pretend raya nudged audit into the corner and through the wall and then beyond. yeah!

but that still leaves me with skt. yeah should stop moaning and start doing. hmmm. did that last night, didnt get far, had to rely on benadryl for sleep. skit is not a way to start your monday and the rest of the week, by the way. then again, i woke up to having to keep a watchful eye on dis and psy and msw and fsw and my own mmw and then as i was hyperventilating wondering where to go now what else should come along but the news that there's a dmtac patient here for appointment and oh btw dmtac pharmacist took el without telling anyone and the only way i found out was asking the ppf in charge of leave and that yeah she took last fri off which i signed for, but as far as he knew she didnt take monday off, but she did mention to him that she may take mc on monday see how. tell me how does a person predict 5 days in advance when she'll take mc, and barring some especial illness, what sort of person doesnt give heads up to the indirectly responsible next in line only because i signed her leave last friday but definitely not today fuck. and then the dmtac patient had to go hypo on me. i hope i didnt overhyperglycaemize him but anyway. one tablespoon of sugar in hot water aint seven tablespoons of sugar in a can of coke and some people take two cans for hypo. yes uncle i saw that dreamy happy look you had when you described yr near death experience and hypo is hardly a reason for you to catch up on coke.

luckily dis/psy girl came back at 11am. luckily i decided to screw fsw and u44 helped me with msw. luckily only 2 patients for dmtac today. luckily today i didnt have the energy to care too much about my ward and fuck it la, 1 cubicle and 2 counseling should pretty much do it for the day. you know the problem? too many to mention but let it be known that one should never tk 3 people at one go. especially since one is direct stand in for leave-trigger-happy dmtac pharmacist. especially if one is already juggling two portfolios and hang it, everyone's juggling two portfolios. hey not bad! today i juggled 8 portfolios. actually in the end i effectively only did... two and a half. so much for the self esteem.

i dont know where to start, really. i could rant and rave against the proverbial system for letting things come to this... but really. i could have taken today as a chance to prioritize and demonstrate some effective time management. and capability. instead of bawling my eyes out to management. but can anyone divvy themselves into 8? alright. i should never have signed 3 people's leaves. actually 2! and now we go back to the fucked up system.

aaaaaaaaaaand there's still skt. actually it's 10pm. time to sleep. tomorrow... is a clinic day. should i run to mmw for am rounds or should i take the time instead to brief deployed frp to cover dmtac for the week? fuck this isnt even my job. one good thing about fail meja: IT CLEARLY DELINEATES MY JOB FROM THE OTHER POINTLESS SHIT which eventually i'll have to do anyway cos fail meja means peanuts. fuck. and then and then i'm not done yet. then i have warfarin clinic which i run by myself am then pm i have a brand new prp following me so at least that makes the two of us. whatever. ok /rant this is just a waste of time.

at least i dont need benadryl tonight.

I'm a stupid stupid girl who keeps on getting into stupid situations.It's amazing how I could get stuck in these tight little corners. Maybe I should just not care and things will get better,

But you are wrong you see, to not care is to be indifferent. And I can't. If I could rewind my whole past again and edit it, yes I would. The older me could go back and visit the younger me. Tell her to not do all these mistakes that we have done. Tell her to stay away from people who will end up breaking your heart and forming the cynical you that you are today. Tell her that its not even worth being friends with them. Crash and burn. They'll take you for granted. Step all over you because you let them. They never cared about you. Never. And if the younger me didn't take all those advice, she's the idiot that I am today.

how to do skt?

sigh.

not to mention fail meja.

I don't understand why the bloody government service is so fucking inefficient when there are shit loads of government servants working there! And I mean shit loads!

There. I said what was on everybody's mind. Inefficient government servants with their "minum pagi, minum petang" culture are dead weights. Discard them and I won't be surprised if things run much faster. It's like we are paying them to be the lazy bums they are. Fuck!

is anyone going to the antibiotic workshop thingy in malacca on 29-31 october?

I miss you guys. I dont want to go back into work tomorrow.

Funny thing how things I thought I'd most enjoy were a little overrated, and contentment and the flashes of pure happy excitement were where I didnt even think about.

Probably a bit too utopiac to wish to work with you guys. But I missed this. The day to day ease with people you can be crazy with. Maybe down the line we'd be at each others' throats. But the laughing (not all but most) was so easy.

Thanks 1787. You love all of us so much.

You gave me the wrong drug.

"You gave me the wrong drug!"

When I heard that, my heart just dropped to my stomach, and I panicked for a little while.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you told me to take half a tablet but the doctor said one tablet."

I read the doctor's snide writing.

Patient is on 25 mg ABC not 12.5mg ABC. Told by pharmacist to take 12.5.

Then I got incredibly irritated.

I took out both strength of drugs and asked the patient to identify it for me. Surprise surprise. We gave him the 50 mg strength of ABC. Well duh! 1/2 tablet of ABC is 25 mg, No?

Then I wrote back on his case notes and gave the patient a hard time about not even knowing his medication. Gave him an earful before I finally let him go back to the doctor.

Patients are idiots. That's why doctors shouldn't listen to them.

i'm so boreeeed. with the job. anticoagulation is a narrow spectrum in more ways than one.

diabetes. is not much better. when 80% of dm patients are more concerned about diet than medicine DO I LOOK LIKE A DIETICIAN TO YOU.

by the way. can anyone find out whether monavie juice ('a mouthwatering blend of 19 body-beneficial fruits and AçaVie™—the purest, most potent form of açai available.') helps cure diabetes. cos i was having a discussion with a patient whose blood glucose went up after taking one glass daily so she cut it down to half a glass. and she still thinks it will cure her diabetes and i said ok i'll read up on it and no, direct selling testimonials are not part of ebm. how? visit 2 is next week. i'm not trained for this shit.

hornbill texted me this week to say there's an anticoagulation mtac course in kch the week after perhentian and that she's going. thing is, my westmalaysianmalay boss, after sending let's say, the paeds clinical pharmacist to a 2-week dmtac course, and a store opd ppf to a 6-month aseptic formulations course, among others, and was made fun of at the state management meeting for his management style, now thinks state-trained courses are stupid and ineffective and not worth the time/ money, and is waiting for the penang anticoagulation clinic course to open, whereby he will send the female medical clinical pharmacist for it.

and the nadi course? how at every meeting we ask him who he's going to send, and he keeps not answering, and really, it's getting so obvious that he's going to send himself. which would be fine, too, because he's the boss and we could all hope for him to come back and do dmtac himself, but ha ha.

You know how you get those patients who ask you for antibiotics because they say they want to keep it just for emergency, and if they feel unwell, they get to pop one of those magic little pills in and Ta-Da! They are well again.

Usually I will roll my eyes and say No, and then they give you a WTF, this pharmacist don't know anything look.

My mom did that to me today. Well not the last part. She asked me for some antibiotics to give to my dog. To which I got really irritated and gave a resounding NO, I'm not going to give antibiotics just so you can give him when he looks unwell. If he looks sick, send him to a vet, I'll pay for it.

And she gave that laugh of hers which means she is still gonna do it anyway. I am going to go through the medicine cabinet when i get home and throw away all the antibiotics that I see.

This is annoying I tell you.

I go to mandarin classes, yoga classes and dance classes during my weekdays.

On my weekends, I go hill-walking and I want to start badminton.

I am trying to learn stupid Italian.

I am trying to learn my OTC stuff at the same time.

I have realized that I am doing all these in order to feel something.

And it scares me that I don't feel anything at all.

I hate chinese patients!

I was gonna rant about world's rudest patient. But I ran out of steam. Damn.

Anyway, long story short, I can't speak chinese. Everybody knows that.

That patient knows that. So?

And I was doing something else also and I didn't dispense his medication to him. For the 15 mins that he was waiting there at the pharmacy, he spoke at the top of his voice about how I was useless for not being able to speak chinese, and it just went on and on. And this was totally uncalled for. I didn't provoke him. So I don't know what the fuck was his fucking problem. I was there and he spoke chinese and called me useless and all sort of other names right in front of me.

And he also can speak english. So my colleague tried to tactfully tell him that he was being rude. So he used this as a conversation starter. Colleague said: your english is not bad. Idiotic patient then replies in chinese of course : It's not as good as her english but she don't know any chinese at all, what for? So useless.

And that's why my friend, I think I am going to give up the chinese language for good. Who the fuck cares? I say asshole chinese people should be stamped out like the cocky little vermins they are.

Oh by the way, patient is a he/she because he's a fat dude with man boobs with a girl's voice and a girl's face. (*it had to be said! ) and that bloody asshole is our age. If he was like 80, I would so totally get it. But he's not.

Don't you just love these little moments that ruins your entire day?

god i'm turning into a government servant. sorry kimi i know you're not for taking the almighty's name in vain, but there are times gosh just sounds like a disney cartoon character. right now i just want to be struck by lightning.

i have come to realise (ever since another pharmacist got pulled into our so-called mtac and is now handling diabetes which means 3/4 of my work is cut out) that warfarin patients only come at 10-11, then 3-3.30 and that is all at one go. so i run around like crazy for about half an hour and the rest i sit around reading pamphlets (the thyroid treatment book was pretty enlightening). doing queries, well, i mean, i could find out the price of one vial of rituximab (rm3500 thereabouts) or i could guess my way through as the resident translator (but oh, bless these little upm medical students who are probably older than me).

so anyway. today i was handed my first three warfarin referrals for the day and in between filling in my forms and calling them out, i went to have coffee.

in the middle of running from patient to doctor to patient (inr 1.12, previously 4.51, now to increase dose again) regarding how she lives 5 hours and 3 cross-your-fingers-hope-they-come bus rides away + some walking and how well you can prescribe 2 weeks medication for me but i sure am only gonna come in 3 months for the next inr check, and back to dr who didnt want the responsibility of a bleeding/stroke patient on his hands, and i just decided, screw this shit and just write, dear opd colleagues, kindly supply 3 months medication for this noncompliant patient who stays in ulu.

then again i didnt come up with that myself. to quote dr s, alright then just give her tca 3/12, and we all pray nothing happens to her in between, woo hoo! now please go away i want to finish the cards quick quick.

and then i happily forgot about it and was mildly annoyed when opd called to query. what, you dont trust my judgement?

when i see an inr squeezing into the little range of 2-3 (i also accept 3.04's) i call them out, ask them for bleeding tendencies, and tell them to go collect their medication.

all i wanna do nowadays is sit down and stare blankly into space. should get the t4/tsh checked. the presence of the new mtac girl is making me feel slightly bashful about the underperforming but ultimately i cant be half-arsed. it's hard to be when your u44 (pemangku) tells you that she doesnt want to key in your QAP cos she doesnt trust the data. whatever. sorry for spoiling your beautiful statistics.

actually i should have taken that as a challenge and worked harder to prove her wrong. but malaslah. god i'm becoming this country. i'm wasting taxpayer's money. and this rant is absolutely all over the place i have no skill.

ok. let's do this. (right i know i have cardiac arrest to do but you see jaybeep, ini padahnya sik nak set deadline)

let's say you want to work in aus. ok i know at least 2 people who want to stay behind and work in guardian / open a big healthcare one-stop centre, but let's say you just want to cabut. i'm offering you my ops cabut: australia. (if u want ops cabut: uk i can also give you the winzip file of dizzying info.)

there's a lovely flowchart here but i cant seem to cut and paste it here (re: noob) but ok, the reason i'm doing this, seriously, is to arrange it properly in my head enough to act upon it (gosh knows i've been talking no actioning for the past couple of months).

there's either a stream a or stream b process to doing this, stream b being the faster route, but as it always happens i think we fall into stream a. you'll be streamed in when you send in a form for 500 aussie.

once they've said ok, then you go take ielts. again. bloody thing expires after 2 yrs. subang here i come.

then the stage one exam. 2 mcq papers of 2 hours and 100 questions each. these will encompass pretty much everything we learnt over the 4 years... from chemistry to pharmacology to calculations. twice yearly, in march and september, only in london, auckland and all australia. $1400 for aus-based, $1600 for the rest.

you fail, unlimited tries. if you fail one, you just have to resit that one within 2 yrs, if not then you gotta take the two again.

you pass, you can start prepping for migration. 5 years grace to do this.

now for stage 2. you'll be interviewed after you've settled down in aus. so you've to get your pr by this point, or at least a visa. (note to self: read up on immigration later). then supervised practice starts, basically pre-reg all over again. about 2000 hours but may go down slightly depending on your interview. minimum hours: 20/week; max 45/week. so different from what i just did over labour weekend...

better to do community to boost chances of passing stage 2.

about a quarter into this pre-reg, you sit for the national forensics, ethics and calculations (fuck.) exam. only in australia, $150.

about 3 quarters, til the end of pre-reg, you can sit for stage 2. this is like the big bang. 3 parts. practical, oral and written ($1950). apparently oral is the killer. something about a lot of aus-grad-and-trained malaysians couldnt get through this. let's hope our english speaking background makes the difference...

unlimited tries, again, but if we dont manage this within the 5 years of passing stage 1, we'll have to start from the very beginning, again.

and then pass = apc certificate. license to practise. start thinking about the uk if you decide aus is not ultimately what you want.

apc website

immigration help

and a little pop quiz


i dont know, really. for one thing, i remember being so naively happy when i sat for (?) drug delivery systems. this is the last paper i am ever going to sit. in my entire life. no more studying. you dont know how exhilirating that thought was. and now i'm going to put myself through this all over again. i really, pathologically, do hate exams. and this is going to be much harder than malaysian prp.

which brings me to the next thing. pharmacy is easy in this country. you can just sit and drink coffee and still be a pharmacist. and i was never the go getter of the class. but i cant stand this anymore, this stagnancy, this lack of meaning. but am i tough enough to go?

the pay is getting shite. i need financial freedom to do the things i really want, and i need to sever myself from roots to find out who i really am. as it is i'm letting myself be defined by parents and circumstances, i'm not defying gravity here.

so how. skip the 3 yrs, or wait it out?

march or september. next march seems like too soon, next sept seems like too long (if you dont want to wait out the 3 years). and this requires a lot of tightening of the purse strings, and time...

and this means i'm really forsaking malaysia. am i ready?

i want to go because i want to be free of parents. and chinese expectations. but do i want to do this as a pharmacist? can i do this as a pharmacist?

Personal Responsibility

Personal Responsibility:

Ensure that you actually come and collect your refill medications.

Today is the 26th of March. If you have not come and collect your medication since the 19th of February and your next appointment is on the 5th of May, that means I am perfectly within my rights, to supply you up to your next appointment only. True or False?

Answer: False. Because when the patient has a friend who is one of the pharmacy technicians..all the patient has to do is just go and talk to his friend.. and thereby overturning your decision. *Damn pissing off.

Be responsible for your child's medication.

Scenario 1: If you have a prescription for your child who is only 8 years old, you are expected to listen to what the pharmacist has to say while the pharmacist is dispensing. Common sense right?

What you don't do. You don't send your 8 year old kid to the counter and expect us to explain all the instructions to the kid while you are actually there sitting on the chair and staring at us. And after that, turn around and ask us to explain you again what you were supposed to do. This could have been avoided if you had just got your lazy ass off the chair and came up to the counter.

Read the instructions that are written on the medication.

I wrote there Paracetamol syrup 5 ml 3 times daily. Parents then came back and ask me, so I am supposed to give them 5 times a day. Err what? come again?

I give up.

Non-pharmacy related

I would just like to point out that those money that is being thrown around like candy belongs to the taxpayers.

OMGWTF.

And you thought people couldn't get any more stupid.

Then today happened.

God bless this country.

ridiculous

last month, a PRA from the admin office got transferred away and since our pharmacy just received 2 new PRAs, they requested to borrow one til they get a new one. so we agreed to let our PRA go for one month. this month, they requested for an extension.

now even when one PRA has gone, the office actually still has another PRA. but guess what they use that PRA for. cooking. yes, they have their own private cook. where got such thing right?! since their building used to be temporary accomodation for newly transferred people, they have a kitchen there. so their existing PRA cooks for them and they want our PRA to do what their PRA is actually supposed to do, which according to our PRA, can actually be done by one person. so if they actually used their PRA for her real job, they wouldn't need our PRA at all.

wth la. small hospital really, people just simply do as they please. so we decided that we will loan them our PRA for one month at a time until they get tired of asking us. sheesh.

I tried and I tried.

But I can't overcome myself.

I can't.

New person

Hi, i'm kimi. I work in a community pharmacy somewhere in an obscure part of a supposedly first world country but actually third world mentality. I think you know who I am.

I am going to rant here.

A week ago, my superior called us over for a slight discussion. Apparently, we were being complained for firstly not dispensing in the front counter and secondly not helping with the pre-packing.

Obviously, he could see the annoyance on both of our faces when he said that. When he asked us whether we had anything to say to that, I said no. Because firstly, I don't trust my superior. He probably say one thing to us and then say another thing to the people who complained.

So this brings me here. My colleague and I take turns dispensing, meaning one person being in the front counter and the other one filling behind because it is tiring to be talking to patients all day long, and secondly, the help behind is no help at all. I'm angry because they have the nerve to say that they have been dispensing all day. I dispense in front and then I run behind to fill 10 baskets, then I run back in front to dispense. At least I don't sit behind the desk and pretend to do some work.

Secondly, on us not helping with the pre-packing. Well I'll be damned. I would like to point out that I have been doing a damn lot of pre-packing and if you are too fucking blind to see it, I promise you, tomorrow I am just gonna sit at the front counter, dispense as fast as I can, but I am not going to run behind and help. Yes I am a vindictive bastard, but you can whine about it all you want. And I don't care about the waiting time anymore. Usually I would try to keep it under 20 minutes, but you know apparently doing so much for them, and then they turn around whine about it is going to just get you in trouble. I say just let the waiting time go over 30 minutes and write the report explaining why. Oh P.S best part is I write the report. I can imagine the report already, lack of staff co-operation, staff always disappearing for morning breaks, no pre-packing ( hey, none of my problem, it's not in my job description, when i helped them, they bitched about it, so why bother?)

Thirdly, I realize the country that we live in with their notoriously lazy government servants, will never EVER develop as a progressive country. Period. For us, its all style over substance.

( But that shall be another story for another day) And I can tell you this, the only reason, I am in this job right now, its because they are holding my license hostage. And to get it back I have to work for four freaking years. Its four years of my youth. And at the same time, we are not allowed to do locum until the third year of our service.

I'm going to take up kickboxing.

Hypocrites

I remembered once we had this particularly problematic patient who refused to budge from the front counter, even though we told her that her supply of medication has not arrived yet. She is the only person on that particular medication (an expensive one, mind you), so we had to buy it for her. And when it did arrive, she wanted two months supply because she had to go Singapore or dunno whatever country she was gadding about to.

What ensue was a long argument between her and my colleague. I was wisely keeping my mouth shut because if I was pulled into the argument, I would have asked her to get her supply from a hospital across Singapore, and then calculate the cost of her medication vs. the cost of transportation yada yada yada. Yes, I am a straight to the point, and I would have probably gotten a letter for saying that.

Anyway, the point of this post was, we found out what she worked as. That bitch, work as a pharmacy technician at a private hospital. Do you get why I am so irritated? She works in the same field as us. So she should understand, how the process works. She should bloody know how much is her medication which is probably why she is taking it from a govt clinic instead of her own private hospital. AND SHE SHOULD KNOW THAT ALL OUR MEDICATIONS ARE FREE AND THAT IS WHY WE CAN'T BLOODY AFFORD TO GIVE HER TWO MONTHS! WE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE BUYING THAT MEDICATION FOR HER WHEN THERE ARE GENERICS AVAILABLE ALREADY.

Yes we have no money. Our money is used for incredibly stupid stuff. Do you think that you patients are the only ones frustrated? I am frustrated with telling everybody, "sorry, we really don't have the stock yet but do please come back on so and so".

Gah!

Middle week rant

I am annoyed.

Medical assistants in my place anyways, are allowed to prescribe drugs for diseases such as hypertension, diabetes and so on and so forth. The person in charge agreed to it. Of course the doctors will be checking. They will counter-sign the prescription afterwards. Here is my problem. Say the MA give a supply of 3 months, the prescription will only be counter-signed after three months. Because that's when the pharmacy collects the scripts and send it to the doctor to be counter-signed.

Secondly, the drugs that the MA are prescribing are like Ticlopidine and Simvastatin. They are List B items. No shit.

Thirdly, I know the reasoning that person in charge give would be because the patient is stable and the MA is probably writing the same thing that patient had previously. But dude, how can ticlopidine 250mg become 25mg. You are not even copying it right. Like wtf. You can't even copy something word for word right. Seriously. Something is wrong with you.

I know the patient load is a lot. But here's an idea. Maybe if we start charging those pesky school kids that come to the place by the truckload even though they are not even sick. Then these damn kids will stop coming. Charge them five bob each time. Seriously. And if you think I am being unsympathetic, just hear this scenario out.

5 school kids come to the counter to collect their prescriptions.

Kid no.1 has constipation.

Kid no.2 has diarrhoea

Kid no. 3 has cough

Kid no.4 just went for a visit to the dentist

Kid. no 5 has conjunctivitis

So you mean to tell me, all these school kids who happen to be friends at the same time, had to come and see the doctor for different ailments. Shit. I say you shut down the school and call it a day. Because the school area should be closed down. Too many people are getting sick from going to school.

OMG seriously

Recap of the week

The lessons I learnt this week:

1. Patients are a selfish bunch of assholes

Give them two month's supply of drugs, and they angrily tell you that the doctor said to give them four. And then you tell them that we don't have enough medication to give all patients like that. And they screamed to the whole pharmacy that we ONLY, read ONLY give them two. OMGWTF dude. SOME PATIENTS ARE GETTING ONLY 1 MONTH. AND ASSHOLES LIKE YOU ARE GETTING TWO MONTHS. And is it me, or do you notice, it's only the chinese patients who does this? I am getting so fucking annoyed at it. AND these patients look rich! It's bad enough that they are getting these drugs for free. Seriously.

2. Everybody is looking out for themselves, so you have to take care of yourself first.

I dunno how the system works in your hospital, but we usually take turn dispensing. That was back in JB. I would do 3 hours and then somebody else would do 3 hours. But here, nobody cares. If you are the unlucky one who went first and sat in front of the dispensing counter, then you will be dispensing the whole day! At first when I started here, I would usually forgo breakfast so that I could help with the dispensing up front. But since everybody is a selfish asshole. I am choosing to ignore them even if it is super busy, and force myself to have some breakfast first. Hey, they do it to me. And then after that now, they changed the oncall list and now we have oncall once a month. I really did the oncall last week. It was three freaking days. And they wanted to put me oncall again this week and I put my foot down. No way! If I spend another week here withought going back KL, I will shoot myself.

3. K'tan is full of assholes.

Someone scratched my car! Seriously. I didn't park my car in any way that was obstructing another vehicle, or obstructing your house. But I am suspecting my neighbour. There is this parking space that both houses share, when I am early I get it, when I am running a little late, he gets it. But hey, that's no reason to scratch my car. It's a public parking space. It works just fine with me.

SIGH.

so today i went back to the shrink and it was so pointless. or maybe it was just me. i certainly dont feel like cooperating. i certainly wanted to be anywhere else but there.

so this is how it feels like to be on the other side of the counter... everyone just wants to cure you, and starts getting impatient when you dont get cured. it's all your fault. why cant you try harder.

well i dont know how it is to try harder. i dont know what to try harder at. i know i'm wasting your precious (sincerely said, cos i know you're all very busy) time, but i dont know how to get better enough to suit you. and this is why you see me hiding things from you. it's because i'm confused with what constitutes improvement, and what doesnt.

give up on me. please. let me be. i think i can get better that way. transfer me out if you must. not like i know where to go or what to do, it's so ironic how you make that sound so simple, look here, we're giving you 8 days mc to think about properly, what you want. it's not like i can get what i want, right. what's the point in thinking what i want. just makes for more frustrated hope. HOPE IS A STUPID BITCH.

3 more years of this shit. if what you say is correct, that i'm medically incapable, then what am i fit to do? you're the one who tied me down for this long. am i just going to be shuffled from department to department, hospital to klinik, etcetera to etcetera? you dont know what to do with me, therefore you want to get rid of me.

shrink says i should face up to my weaknesses, and stop blaming other people. I BLAME YOU. I BLAME YOU FOR CONVINCING ME THAT I'M INSANE.

i loved my job. i loved helping people, finding out the small things that could make the difference. i'm one of the best at talking to patients, only you never see that. i'm only like this because you took it all away from me.

i'm on leave again. fuck.

maybe i'm crazy maybe i'm a danger to medication safety maybe i should be relieved from my post due to health reasons.

fuck.

i'm not depressed. i'm fucking pissed off.

do we have to wait til we finish 3 years to do that continuation course, formerly jaybeep? cos i want out of this country now.

kajian kepuasan pelanggan farmasi

click to enlarge

most people at the hospital are sick so keep the place silent - you people keep quiet la.
sediakan bahan bacaan - you know you will have a long wait so bring your own la.

upgrade entertainment system??!!!! - you pay for it la! you come hospital for treatment or entertainment?? obviously the hospital is boring. bring your own entertainment la.

my goodness some of these patients. and keep asking us to smile more. how to smile the whole day la. they don't even smile at us.

and you probably can't see, but some of those green comments actually talk abt 1malaysia and the pm's vision. omg, dunno if some of these comments are serious or just too bored coz no entertainment.

Lately everything has just been overwhelming.

Not work. I am just bored off my ass in work.

This is my calculation. I am already sort of in my second year. So I will finish govt service in 2012 around Oct right.

Then say I get to start straightaway in UK doing that continuation program, I will finish in 2013.

After 2013, I probably have to do the pre-reg there which is one year, and then I will take the RPSGB exam in 2014.

OMFG. Do you know how many years that is?

I will be 28 that time. OMG. And how the bloody hell am I going to get married too at the same time.

*cries.

You know who I blame?

I BLAME IMU! Fucking IMU. Money sucking institution.

:'(

And I am starting to feel everything is not worth the effort. I don't know what the hell I am doing.